So after my last post my good friend Jess from Jessincase send me a really thoughtful message just reassuring me that it’s not necessary or possible to be in the present all of the time and to try not to be so hard on myself because you are actually doing much better than you give yourself credit for.
She is that ever-thoughtful person who gives you clarity when you need it and always knows what to and sometimes, what not to say.
She coincidently had an article pop up on Instagram that she thought might be of interest… it was.
And in a much bigger way than she expected.
The post referenced ways Cortisol effects your mood and how things we use as relaxants can actually spike it and have the opposite effect.
I found it intriguing (and a little depressing) so I looked into the podcasts from the original info source “Anxiety Coach podcasts” … 5 minutes into her first podcast I realised that she was describing me and my symptoms perfectly!
I’m not just a little anxious now and then, I “have anxiety”.
This may seem a little basic and obvious but I never saw it as a managable condition… I saw it as a personality trait that I didn’t like but was stuck with.
One of the podcasts mentioned that when you start to deal with your anxiety and some of the symptoms lift you’ll notice a lack of pain that you may not have realised was there.
Bingo. Without consciously realising it I’ve been clenching my jaws so hard that I thought I’d hurt a tooth! I was getting jaw pain and residual pain through my teeth but I have such a negative association with the dentist that I refuse to go until its desperate (brilliant plan I know!) So I have just ignored it.
I’ve started to feel more present and grateful just using basic techniques and after 2 days my jaw/tooth pain has gone!
It is amazing what actually having a label has done for me, in my breathing, in my being, in my headspace. If I am aware of what it is that I am feeling then I can be kinder to myself because I understand WHY.
Its obviously not a cold that I’ll get over tomorrow, its something that I will have to be aware of and treat mindfully for months/years/eternity but thats ok because I now know that it has a name.
Not only does it have a name, but it also has a lot of practises that can help to keep me grounded. Better yet I know that I am not alone in this, its not an embarrassing personality glitch where I spend hours overanalyzing how stupid I was. Or how unorganised I was. Or how stressful and useless I am because the thought of paying bills makes me feel sick. It is normal and there are ways to help.
So for anyone that feels this may benefit them, the link is The Anxiety Coaches Podcast and this can at least give you some technique to manage day to day life.